As it turns out, the world does not stop when you are completely and utterly heart broken, although you feel it has. Time goes on, life goes on. As I dwelled and cried and hurt with such indescribable pain, the world kept turning. The clock kept ticking. And I was in oblivion. I tried to stay busy yet day in and day out, such negative thoughts encompassed me and I could have cared less about the now.   I simply went through the motions of life's necessities. Wake up, teach, barely eat, go home, sleep. I let my work go, my ambition ceased, workouts were nonexistent and I was M.I.A. What was the point? I lost what and who I had planned my life around. My entire future blew up in flames in an instant, the rubble the only remains. I have many goals and dreams, my most important is to have a family of my own. My dream was in my reach, we were attaining this goal together - or so I thought. And so quickly this dream slipped right between my fingertips and I was entirely distracted from the now.

Edna's got it right.  My control over the situation I was put in, or lack there of, distracted from so many positive aspects of my life. I am so lucky to have the opportunity to teach what I love, to have a job, to have my health to create a physique I am proud of, and to have followers who enjoy my content. My dream may have to be put on hold and my future is so uncertain but this too is a lesson. As a Type A person, I tended to live in the future. When I was heart broken, I yearned for the past. But as strong, independent woman, I will not be distracted from the now. I spent last night revamping all my lessons. I went to yoga and had two killer workouts this week. I'm counting my macros. From this I have grown. I'm back.